Imperfect Love

“Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.”

― Dean Koontz, Odd Hours

                                                                 

What's your Talent?

This week I got to meet the artist Greg Olsen. If you are not familiar with his works, please go to his website. He is an amazing artist. I won a canvas print from him & he invited my family & I to come to his studio so he could sign it. (To see the picture, click here)
For me, being in his studio surrounded by beautiful art brought a big lump in my throat as I was holding back tears. He is talented & shares it. His talent inspires many. I've always wanted to paint, I thought about it while I was there but the thought left quickly, but the thought left quickly for some reason & I decided just to be happy enjoying his talent. To soak it all in. & to be happy that someone has the ability to paint the Savior as I think He is. It doesn't have to be me. I have other talents. My talents are not well-renowned, & not seen throughout the world. But they might be felt. They might be felt somewhere because I tried to teach my children to serve others. I'm anxious to teach my grandchildren. I have 2 at the moment, 1 in heaven Ollie, & one on earth, my beautiful Rainbow Baby, Poppy! We all have talents. different ones. some may be seen & heard, while others may not get the attention of others as much. Love your talents! Find out what they are if you don't already know. Using your talents daily can help you overcome stress & grief. & if ever you need a little pick me up, go to Greg Olsens site. You'll come away uplifted.

A Parent's Grief

This is posted on the grandparents page because, we want to do all we can to understand what our children are going through with the loss of their child. That way, we can help them through their lonely struggles just a little bit more. Make sure you call your kids today!

Each of us who has experienced child loss personally knows the feeling of isolation, abandonment, exhaustion, misunderstanding, and pain. We have gone through anguish like none other known to mankind, and yet we're here. We're here because deep within our soul we have a seed of hope that tells us someday we will be united with our child again. We can feel our soul joined to the soul of our child. As broken as we are, we weep, yet we hope. We're in pain, yet we know there will one day be an end to all pain. We cry millions of tears, but we know one day all tears will be dried. And, so in all of our brokenness we cling tightly to hope. May God bless each one who has known this terrible pain of losing a child with an extra measure of hope today!

This thought was taken from "Silent Grief"

Worlds Without End

This beautiful painting is by Greg Olsen. 

He has painted many beautiful pictures of the Savior.

This gives me Peace knowing He is in control & knows what is best for his children.

Peace is not something around us, it is something inside us.

May your heart find Peace today.

Winnie the Pooh

Today, I'm thinking of Winnie the Pooh for some reason . AA Milne did a beautiful job in creating something so pure. I never got to read the book to Ollie but I am making sure I read it to Poppy & all my grandchildren to come.

Jar of Life

   
Here is an idea I got from a mother who has an angel. This could be used in any home. It helps us to remember that life does have tears & because we have been through the hard things, it helps us be grateful for the wonderful things in life. All the beautiful memories.

 "I've also started a memory jar for 2013 but mine is a little different than some people's. My jar of memories is also a jar of tears, so for each memory I'll put a little slip of paper with the memory and date written on it. For each sorrowful event i'll put a stone into the jar the represents a tear drop. Without our sorrows we wouldn't appreciate our good memories as much."
at "theemptycookie"

Fear & Dark vs. Light & Hope

Here's a picture of me & my first & only grandson, Ollie.
I miss his sweet face so much.
I can only feel part of what his parents must feel.
I feel like my heart will never be completely filled again.
It hurts.
There is a hole in my life that I don't think will ever go away.
We had a wonderful Christmas with all our family, but always
always, there was an emptiness without Ollie running around.
Everything we did & every activity, we mentioned how Ollie
would have loved being here. How we would have loved to
see him reacting to all these Holiday moments.
Maybe in a few days I will write about Ollies death.
I can't today.
You can read my daughters' story here... www.hebbsters.blogspot.com
I have written many memories, many times, just not today.
I can hardly type the word death.
It's a weird word. It's always been a "fear" word, dark & black.
But with Ollie gone, it has taken on a new meaning.
I can't think of it as black or dark because my sweet Ollie
did it. At times everything does feel dark & black but then
I think of where Ollie is. I believe he still lives. I believe
I will see him again one day. So when I remember that, I see more
light & hope. I see a happy grandma hugging on Ollie so tight that he
wiggles away. Then he runs back for more.

**Rainbow Babies**

What is a Rainbow Baby? 

A baby born after the loss of an older child. The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

For Ollie